Mokrih nog naokrog
Glih se odpravlam h bušu na ranč.
Mal bomo zabušaval čez praznike.
Upam samo, da se nam na poti tja ne bo zbušila guma.
Komentarjev: 6George Carlin’s New Rules For 2006
New Rule: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for classmates.com!
There’s a reason you don’t talk to people for 25
years. Because you don’t particularly like them!
Besides, I already know what the captain of the
football team is doing these days: mowing my lawn.
New Rule: Don’t eat anything that’s served to you out a window
unless you’re a seagull. People are acting all shocked
that a human finger was found in a bowl of Wendy’s
chili. Hey, it cost less than a dollar. What did you
expect it to contain? Trout?
New Rule: Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their
hot, blonde teachers are permanently damaged. I have a
better description for these kids: lucky bastards.
New Rule: If you need to shave and you still collect baseball
cards, you’re a dope. If you’re a kid, the cards are
keepsakes of your idols. If you’re a grown man , they’re
pictures of men.
New Rule: Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here’s how much men
care about your eyebrows: do you have two of them?
Okay, we’re done.
New Rule: There’s no such thing as flavored water. There’s a whole
aisle of this crap at the supermarket, water, but without
that watery taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called a
soft drink. You want flavored water? Pour some scotch over
ice and let it melt. That’s your flavored water.
New Rule: Stop messing with old people. Target is introducing a
redesigned pill bottle that’s square, with a bigger label.
And the top is now the bottom. And by the time grandpa
figures out how to open it, his ass will be in the morgue.
Congratulations, Target, you just solved the Social Security
crisis.
New Rule: The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the ass
hole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a “decaf grandee
half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread
cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n’-Low and one
NutraSweet,” ooh, you’re a huge ass hole.
New Rule: I’m not the cashier! By the time I look up from sliding my
card, entering my PIN number, pressing “Enter,” verifying
the amount, deciding, no, I don’t want cash back, and pressing
“Enter” again, the kid who is supposed to be ringing me up is
standing there eating my Almond Joy.
New Rule: Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn’t
make you spiritual. It’s right above the crack of your ass.
And it translates to “beef with broccoli.” The last time you
did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren’t
pregnant. You’re not spiritual. You’re just high.
New Rule: Competitive eating isn’t a sport. It’s one of the seven deadly
sins. ESPN recently televised the US Open of Competitive Eating,
because watching those athletes at the poker table was just too
damned exciting. What’s next, competitive farting? Oh wait.
They’re already doing that. It’s called “The Howard Stern Show.”
New Rule: I don’t need a bigger mega M&M. If I’m extra hungry for M&Ms,
I’ll go nuts and eat two.
New Rule: If you’re going to insist on making movies based on crapp
old television shows, then you have to give everyone in the
Cineplex a remote so we can see what’s playing on the other
screens. Let’s remember the reason something was a television
show in the first place is that the idea wasn’t good enough to
be a movie.
New Rule: No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just for
weddings. Now it’s for babies and new homes and graduations
from rehab. Picking out the stuff you want and having other
people buy it for you isn’t gift giving, it’s the white people
version of looting.
:D
Who da man!
Če na guglu iščeš pojem ‘sopca‘, je moj blog prvi zadetek.
Naj to izjavo podkrepim s slikovnim dokazom :)
To ti je optimizacija! Ruf, požri se :D
UML, juhej!
Najdu sem luštn, light-weight program za risanje različnih UML diagramov, Violet.
Spisan je v javi (mmm, po mojem okusu), zaženeš ga lahko:
- preko interneta
- downloadaš na disk in zaženeš lokalno
- narejen je tudi plugin za eclipse
Simpl, mejhn, uporaben. Zdej grem pa risat kr ene diagrame, ki jih ne rabm :)
Sekret papir
Ena stara šala, ne spomnem se, kje sem jo slišu:
“Uporablaj sekret papir z obeh strani in rezultat bo na dlani” :D
Chinese ebonics
- Are you harboring a fugitive? (Hu Yu Hai Ding?)
- Approach me. (Kum Hia)
- Stupid Fellow (Dum Gai)
- Small horse (Tai Ni Poni)
- Prices are too high here (No Bai Dam Ting)
- Miami vacationing agreed with you (Ya Mai Ti Tan)
- I bumped into a coffee table (Ai Bang Mai Ni)
- Have you considered a face lift? (Chin Tu Fat)
- You try saving electricity? (Wai So Dim?)
- Unauthorized execution (Lin Ching)
- Inquiry to determine if bus is due (Hao Long Wei Ting?)
- Plaything belonging to ancient emperor (Ming Toy)
- You’re blowing your diet (Wai Yu Mun Ching?)
- Keep out of the pond (Noh Wei Ding)
- Tow-away zone (No Pah King)
- Don’t you know anything by Cole Porter? (Wai Yu Sing DumSong?)
- You are not very bright (Yu So Dum)
- I have a press pass (Ai No Pei)
- I don’t deserve the death penalty (Wai Hang Mi?)
- You’re suffering from chronic halitosis (Yu Bai Sen Sen Nao)
- Remain out of sight (Lei Lo)
- Cleaning automobile (Wa Shing Cah)
- Did someone fertilize the field? (Hu Flung Dung?)
- Your body odor is offensive (Shu Man Go)
- They are approaching (Hia Dei Kum)
Clippy reloaded
Na žalost marsikaterega računalniškega navdušenca je asistent clippy na voljo samo v windowsih (v novejših malih mehkih pisarnah ga ne bo več… bu-hu-hu).
Tale strip je biu povod za nastanek Vigor-ja. To je open-source dodatek za vi urejevalnik besedila - vi je totalno l33t in men totalno nerazumljiv :) Upam, da mi ga ne bo treba nikol uporablat…
Vigor je očitno dobra kopija clippy-ja, saj je njegova namembnost odvračati uporabnikovo pozornost od dela nase. Razlika pa je ta, da se Vigor ne trudi zgledati pameten, ampak uporabnika zeza u glavo direktno, brez olepšav :D
Dobri nameni ne pomagajo
Ne spomnem se, gdaj sem šu u trgovino po 20:30 po kej druzga kot per :)
No, dons sm pogruntu, da je zmanjkal hrane za psa, v kleti je tud ni blo več in sm šu u merkator po pedigre. Merkator zaprt?! Ura je res bla 9h, ampak ponavad so mene še spustil, za mano pa zaklenil (redna stranka pa to, hehe). Že prov, če mi nočjo prodat, pa ne bom kupu…
Nauk: če ne kupiš pera, bo pes lačn.
Zadeve za tulifon
Ful sm navdušen nad telefonom. Sam zdej hočm met ful dobre melodije pa špile gor. In sm si z interneta dubu dol čes 36000 midi melodij (ja, 36 tisoČ) in 3000 java špilov. Mja… mal me je zanesl.
Sam teh stvari sploh ni tolk teško dobit. Velik težje je izbrat tabolše med njimi… to delam zdej že par dni in se mi počas ne da več. Preveč je usega :P
Se mi pa zdi neumn kupovat melodije, če je pa tolk tega zastojn. FOR FREEEEEE!
Personaliziran internetni radio
Kul je:
- naštimaš si lahko več postaj (kar ti pač trenutno paše poslušat)
- vsaki postaji lahko dodajaš avtorje in pesmi, potem pa se ti rola muska v tem stilu (očitno je uzadi velka baza podakov, kar pa me kot uporabnika ne zanima, dokler deluje)
- ko se rola komad, lahko rečeš, da ti je kul, al pa, da ti ni… to se verjetno pol tud upošteva :)
- lahko si izmenjuješ postaje s frendi in neznanci
- nisi omejen na mp3-je, ki jih maš na svoji mašini
- zastojn :)
Ni kul:
- narejen v flashu
- treba met prižgan browser
Zmago in njegove buče
Po lanu sm se zbudu glih prov, da sm vidu 4 gole jeseničanov u 3 minutah, nakar sm preklopu drugam - take stvari u hokeju ponavad pomenjo, da nimaš več šans :D
Očitno mi je blo zelo dougcajt, ker sm gledu E+. In tm je biu slavni in naduse uspešni zmago batina. Uprašal so ga, zakaj je ta njegov šov tolk uspešen. In model je reku, da zato, ker se dotakne tako navadnih ljudi, kokr tud intelektualcov.
Me prov zanima! Najd mi enga človeka, k zna razmišlat in se mu zdi odpiranje smrdljivih škatel od čevlov in govorjenje z naglasom ibr zanimiv za gledat u petk zvečer in ne bi rajš gledu albanskih reklam na mtv adria.
Če bi modelu dau puško u roke, bi zgrešu slona s petih metrov! Negdo očitno ne živi u stiku z realnostjo. Sam upam, da nism to js, ker take patetike nism vidu na tvju od 6. ponovitve useh epizod od Fresh prince of bel air na kanalu a.
Res je, da tud na drugih kanalih ni glih blestečih filmov in oddaj, ampak to je lahko samo izgovor, da nisi pred tvjom!
